I’ve got some exciting things happening in my life right now that’s been quite a while in the making. I’m now just 30 days out from my (hopefully permanent) move to Germany! I’ve wanted to move overseas for a long long time now, and we’ll get into all the reasons why in a bit. That’s why when I graduated college last December I figured it was time to give it a shot! It’s been quite the process, from deciding on Germany as a location, to getting all my finances and visa requirements in order, to doing everything I need to do in the US to close this chapter of my life. It was a daunting task to plan out and execute pretty much solo, but it will all be worth it!
Why would I want to move?
So why would I want to move overseas? And why Germany? I’ll answer the second part first because it’s somewhat easier. No, I’m not fluent in German and I don’t have family there. I do have one friend there who was a foreign exchange student at my high school (and we were very close!) but the short answer is that there really is no reason I picked Germany other than it piqued my interest. I had originally wanted to move to New Zealand for the climate and culture, but I also want to travel and see as much of the world as possible, so for travel purposes, somewhere in Europe was better. For whatever reason, Germany always fascinated me in ways other European countries didn’t. I wasn’t interested in going to the UK or France. I have been self-studying German (Duolingo, listening to German news and music) for about three years now, so I know the basics. I plan on going to language school once there to start chipping away at the language barrier and get certified.
Now, why would I want to move to Europe at all? To be completely honest, I’ve never really felt at home or welcome in the United States. Granted at first glance I could be a straight white man (which the US was made by and for) but my sexuality and gender identity is more complicated than that. And that in itself is perfectly okay, it’s just that the US is not really the place to be for people like me. Though there has been progress for the LGBTQ+ community, we live under the constant threat that those rights and protections will be taken away at any moment. The progress that has been made has been slow and small compared to other developed countries. Just look at marriage equality: Over half the countries in Europe had already allowed same sex marriage before the US did in 2015. Had it not been for Obergefell, same-sex marriage would still be illegal in my home state of Ohio. How welcoming is that?
Unfortunately, the situation is similar for many other progressive ideas. The US is falling behind the rest of the world in protections for women’s rights, the employed, immigration, education, healthcare, gun violence prevention, and many other issues. I won’t get into the politics of why this is or what needs to change, but I’ve been asking myself over and over and over again the past few years, “Why would I want to live in a place like this?”. Especially if there are other places that don’t have these issues. Granted no place is going to be perfect but Germany and the EU as a whole rank better on every metric listed above and others, like work/home life balance and the happiness index. The lack of reliable and affordable public transport and lack of third spaces (places other than work or home where people can interact with one another) make places in the US hard to exist in.
I also have the “benefit” of not being very close to my immediate family, making it easier to just pick up and leave the country. That being said, I will miss my grandmothers very much, and the thought that I’m leaving and it might be the last time I ever see them again is devastating to me. At one point in college I decided I would wait until they passed to move overseas, but since then I’ve decided I can’t make choices about my life based on others; I have to make those choices based on my values and what I want from life. Besides, there’s texting and FaceTime so it’s not like there will be no contact after I move.
Why now?
Like I mentioned, I was planning at one point to wait until after my grandparents passed to move. I’ve also had plans to wait a certain number of years in order to save up money. And I’ve also had plans to start working at an engineering firm in the US and then transfer directly overseas for work. So why am I not following those plan anymore? I decided there’s no time like the present! Those ideas focused heavily on waiting, and I recognized that was my way of putting off the decision indefinitely and I didn’t want that. While waiting until I had enough money saved up is a must, I chose to calculate out that time and book flights and accommodation accordingly, that way my move actually had a date and wasn’t governed by the vague “a few years”. Once I finished school, I realized I had the unique opportunity to move with as few ties to the US as possible. I’m not connected to a dream job right now, I don’t have a house I’ve customized, and I don’t have a significant other to worry about asking to come with me or trying to do long distance. Really, this is the optimum moment to uproot my life and move!
After much soul searching and value untangling, I believe that what I want from life is to be happy or at least content in my day to day life. I know that’s incredibly broad, but the main point is that I believe I will be able to accomplish this much better in Europe, where living conditions are generally better and safer. I had a very informative conversation with someone who held dual citizenship in the US and Germany. He spent large portions of time in each country and was able to give me an honest comparison. He said that the social programs in Europe are much better, but you will make significantly less money than if you worked in the US. While making lots of money does sound appealing to a point, it’s both not what I find most important and also not worth the safety risks of staying in the US. My goal has never been to be rich and have the nicest material things; my goal up to this point has been simply surviving. That makes sense why my goal for the future is to actually be content and happy!
The whole incredibly daunting process:
- Lawyering Up:
The hardest part of this whole “deciding to move” thing was definitely where to start. I immediately think of immigrants just getting on a boat and going to the US and starting a new life, but that is just not possible anymore! You need to have an actual reason for moving abroad if you want to stay past a certain amount of time. For Germany, you can stay for 90 days without a visa if you’re from the US. While I could just pick up and go theoretically, I needed more of a concrete plan. Now, the whole visa process and paperwork that comes with that is incredibly daunting, so I decided to get a lawyer for that part. Thankfully I had the means to do so (financially speaking), because lawyers are incredibly expensive. I had an initial consultation and my guy described the common steps. I basically had two choices: come to study the language on a student visa or come for work (either already having a job offer or coming just to look for a job). Luckily engineering is a regulated profession, so they would be more likely to accept an application to work. Unfortunately for me, since I’m not fluent in German, I can’t really work an engineering job just yet. So I decided to go with the student visa option. My current plan is to attend language school for at least 6 months, seeing how much I can progress and get certified. Then I can decide to keep going with schooling or look for a job (Luckily, the engineering firm I wanted to work for in the US also operates in Germany)! The lawyer gave me a list of everything he would need to complete my visa application, but he is not going to apply for it until after I arrive in Germany (something about it being easier to apply if you already have an address in the country, works for me). So one of my tasks over the past few months is collecting the documents the lawyer needs to submit my paperwork. Those include acceptance to a school, a completed application form, a blocked bank account (ensuring I can support myself over the entirety of my stay), and my housing details and housing registration.
- Housing (the most stressful part for me):
Finding housing is one of my biggest nightmares. Because of my co-ops in school, I was forced to find different housing nearly every five months for two years. When I tell you I never want to look through another apartment search website again in my life, I mean it! Finding long-term housing abroad is a whole other beast, especially if you have financial constraints or are bringing your cat like I am (yay!). I spent many weeks searching through various websites renting apartments and homes. The most popular for Germany are Immonet and WG-Gesucht. The problem with these sites is that the properties go FAST. Good listings are only available for a few hours before they’re taken. There are also massive amounts of bad listings, unfinished apartments, or bad locations. Granted, you can’t be too picky in a situation like this, but I can’t put myself in a sketchy neighborhood in an unfinished apartment.
There were some really great sites for student housing that were close to campuses, affordable, and furnished, but these all had rules against bringing pets. My two requirements were that I needed to bring my cat, and it had to be within my budget. Nearly 10 times out of 10 if a place met one of the requirements, it never met the other. I stressed about housing the most out of anything in this moving process. I still needed housing up until a month and a half before my move (I just secured a place a few weeks ago!) even after having every other aspect of the trip set up. I debated leaving my cat here and bringing him over later, but there were no good options of places for me to leave him, and it would have been a very difficult time without my baby, who has been by my side consistently over the past four years!
The site I used the most, and eventually secured an apartment on, was Housing Anywhere. Sites like these can be more expensive, but I got lucky and found a cheaper place. The other issue I had with Housing Anywhere was that when I would filter only places that allowed pets, some listings would say “Pets: Negotiable”, but then after messaging them, they say no pets allowed. That was very frustrating and a huge waste of time in general. However, I finally found a small room in a shared flat that allowed pets and was comfortably within my budget. As soon as I possibly could I booked it and it was like the weight of the world was lifted off my shoulders. I am nervous about having to live with people again, but I have a private room I can escape to if things get annoying, and like I said earlier, I can’t really be choosy at this point!
- Finding the Right School:
Deciding where to go to school was much easier compared to my search for housing. My lawyer also suggested a few good budget friendly options. Similar to the different housing sites, there were lots of private language schools that offered great experiences but were incredibly expensive; we’re talking 2-3 thousand a month or higher. If I were to do that, I really would need several years to save up money before the move! Thankfully I found a few options that better suited my needs. I originally planned on going to Sprachenatelier Berlin, which would have cost around 3000€ for 6 months and offered excursions and culture learning experiences. This would have been a good choice, but the lawyer informed me about an even cheaper option, Die Neue Schule, which only cost me 2500€ for 6 months.
Both of these schools, and many other schools, offer great programs. Each course has different benefits and incentives for you to enroll. Some places offer field trips or language seminars, while others offer classes at night or at a time/place that is more convenient for you. The only reason I chose Die Neue Schule over Sprachenatelier Berlin and other language schools is the financial factor. In my situation, I need to be extremely mindful of the cost associated with every aspect of the move. I can’t really afford the extra trips and food/lodging other schools provide, and that’s okay. I did my research and made sure Die Neue Schule fit what I needed and am moving forward with them!
One important note before we move on from the schooling!!!: Some sites are scams! Always read the reviews and always check the website to make sure the program matches your needs! Some visas require you to take a specific kind of course, and some schools offer both in person and online classes. Make sure you read the details before paying for a course!
- Blocked Banking and Insurance:
Two other visa requirements I had to meet were creating a blocked bank account and getting insurance. I’ll just touch on these briefly. They require you to have a blocked bank account so they know you can support yourself for your time in Germany. They have a set rate they deem acceptable to live on (in Germany in 2025 this happens to be 1,091€ per month) which I must put in a bank account. The full amount of the account is locked to me, but they will release 1,091€ to me per month to live on. This is more of an annoyance than anything because I have enough money to support myself, but I have to jump through some extra hoops. It’s a very practical requirement, though.
They also require every person to have health insurance. Unlike in the US, insurance is not just tied to your place of employment. It can be provided through work, but can also be purchased through private or public companies. For my move, I have set up travel insurance through the same company I set up my blocked bank account, Expatrio. Expatrio made the process fairly straightforward and now all this information is in one location for me to access it. I plan on getting a part time job while in language school, so hopefully I can be moved to employment insurance in the near future.
- Pet Requirements:
Traveling with pets really complicates things. Like I mentioned before, I had to have housing secured before I arrived in Germany because my cat will be with me. If I were on my own and couldn’t find a place right away I could always stay at a hostel for a few days, but most hostels don’t allow pets. In addition to the housing, I have to set up my flight around my cat. I’m flying Delta for this trip and they require you to register your pet and report the weight and the type of carrier along with its dimensions. You also have to pay $200 in cash at the airport desk (which I find a little odd). But it will all be worth it to have my boy with me when I start the next chapter of my life.
This is probably the part I am most nervous for about the move, taking my cat on the flight. He counts as my carry-on and will be right under my seat the whole flight. My flight has a 6-hour layover in New York, so it’s going to be a long day! Larger airports have pet relief areas I can take him to but I will still be on edge the whole time, especially knowing he’s probably scared in his carrier. My cat is also incredibly vocal and not afraid to let himself be heard. I’m worried he will scream during the flight and make other passengers uncomfortable. He has to get an international health certificate a week before we fly, so I’m counting on the vet giving me something to calm him down or put him to sleep for a few hours!
- Closing up Shop in the US:
This has been the most time-consuming part of preparing for the move, by far. There are a million and a half little details you have to remember when leaving the country. Canceling subscriptions and utility services like phone and electric, creating a forwarding address for your mail, closing bank accounts, exiting the lease on your current housing, and selling off or storing all your possessions. Luckily, my grandma has a large garage with plenty of space I can store personal items, but the vast majority of my belongings I have sold already. I’m essentially condensing my life into a few boxes to leave in her garage and the single suitcase I’m taking when I move! Thankfully, I started this process back in December so I don’t have as much to worry about right before the move.
I was scared to use Facebook Marketplace to sell my belongings at first because I know there are scammers and junk requests on there, but over the past few months I’ve grown really fond of using it. I’ve listed probably a few hundred items from clothes to trinkets to large furniture and decorations. Most of it has sold and some things I think nobody will want end up being the first to be claimed. It’s nice to get all this extra cash to put towards the move as well, and coming from things I don’t even use anymore, or have had lying around for years! At this point I’ve sold 90% of my belongings, the remaining items being large furniture like the bed and dining set, and my car. Anything I don’t sell in time that I don’t want to store will go to Goodwill.
Because I’ll be taking my cat and traveling solo I can only take one checked bag and a backpack. The checked bag is limited to 50 pounds, so I need to do more practice packs to make sure I can take everything I want without it being overweight. All other sentimental items will go into storage. I plan to box all that stuff up so when I come back to the States for visits or holidays I can take a box or two back with me, slowly bringing over the rest of my things. I don’t want to ship anything overseas because I’ve seen how expensive that can get!
It’s going to be nerve-wracking when I leave, knowing if something were to happen and I have to return, I don’t have a job or place to live anymore, but that just incentivizes me to make this move work! This is a big step with a lot of moving parts and honestly I’m proud I’ve gotten to the point I have. Another part of tying up loose ends is seeing family and friends again before I go. I’ve reached out to people to tell them about my plans to move and to get together before I leave. Everyone is excited for me and sad I’ll be so far away. There will be lots of people I will miss seeing, but I know it will be worth it to start a life in Germany.
My Goals Post-Move:
I’m not expecting everything to be perfect when I get over there. There will be a learning curve as well as a culture curve, but I’m excited to navigate them! I will be attending language school for at least 6 months and then looking for a full time job so I can stay in Germany. I hope to go out and meet some new people along the way to build up a circle of friends. I’m looking forward to being able to walk down the street to a bar or restaurant (or grocery store for that matter), without needing a car! It’s like I’m starting totally fresh and the possibilities are endless!
I will post an update after I move and have had some time to settle, but if you have any suggestions or further questions about the process, I would be more than happy to discuss them! If anyone has gone through this process, I would love to hear how it went for you! It is a life-changing decision full of hope and nerves. I’m doing my best and that’s enough for me!
-Atlas
Leave a Reply